My Twitter account is @achura.
My Twitter account is @JMRooker.

It used to be @achura, but then this happened (and then this and, finally, this happened just last night.) The word “Achura” might or might not be owned by a certain gaming company and I don’t have 50,000 followers to raise hell if Twitter hands the account over to them, so I decided to preempt the problem.

What in the hell is an achura?
It is an ethnic subgroup of the larger Caldari ethnic group in Eve Online (a video game I used to play). Sorry, I don’t know how to pronounce it either.

I use “achura” I use JMRooker on Twitter because somebody already has “Rooker”. “Rooker” is my gamer name and is how I’ve decided to identify myself to you internet people.

JMRooker is not a real name. It is two letters stuck in front of a gamer handle to look like it is a real name. I did this to demonstrate how naive it is to think someone posting on the internet with a “real” name has any credibility over an obvious pseudonym.

I could tell you my real name, but then Dick Cheney President Obama would have to send in the CIA SEAL Team Six to kill you. Sorry. Also, it’s none of your business.

Serious Business
Here is some stuff you should know before you hit the link to become a follower on Twitter.

  1. I tweet entirely too much and it probably will annoy the hell out of you. You’ve been warned.
  2. I swear. A lot. Don’t gripe when colorful language rolls your way.
  3. Much of my tweeting is about religion and politics, which always goes over well on the internet.

    My political and religious opinions, in a nutshell, are as follows: I am an atheist and a liberal. That does not mean no conservatives or religious allowed. What it means is that you have now been warned about it and have no excuse for being shocked or offended.

    Also, I don’t like bigotry. At all. If we can’t agree that bigotry is a bad thing, then we are not going to get along very well.

    If my political or religious opinions offend you and make you want to unfollow me, please do that quietly. I don’t know you and don’t care that you’re unfollowing me. I will make fun of you if you become emo drama queen about it.

  4. If you want to tell me all about the good news of Jesus Christ, I’ve heard already and probably know more about it than you do. Thanks anyway.

    “But…” No.

    “Seriously…” No.

I may not follow you back

I don’t, by default, follow people who follow me just because they’ve started following me. Don’t take it personally. If the only reason you’re hitting my “follow” button is to get me to follow back, just move along please.

I follow people that are amusing and talk about things I find interesting. Also, people who bribe me.

I generally agree with the reasons here for not following people (except the first three, because who cares?). Also, I agree with Paul Carr. Mostly. Sorta. Well, some of it.

I normally do not follow people whose entire Twitter activity is just linking to things, tweeting their blog’s RSS feed, hashtagging every other word or retweeting other people. That all gets old after a while.

The only language I can speak is English (and a bit of Spanish, but I can’t read it). If you don’t tweet in English, I won’t be able to read it, so I won’t be following you back.

Also, sometimes I completely ignore Twitter and don’t pay attention to who’s started following me. Sometimes for weeks or months. Sometimes I’ll go back to look, sometimes not.

You’re still here? Haven’t scared you off yet? Well then, go forth and follow.

Also, everybody on this list is awesome. Follow them too while you’re at it.

%d bloggers like this: